My Own Decision
by japanfan
Summary: ABANDONED...Takes place right after Endless Waltz, but Heero didn't destroy Wing Zero yet. Heero plans to selfdestruct Wing Zero in space...with him inside it. Will anyone stop him from doing so? Read and review.
1. I love you

Hey! japanfan speaking, as always. Let's just say I don't know very much about Gundam Wing, but not that it matters. I'm just putting one of my rare opinions into this fanfic. I can't say I hated Endless Waltz, but the very end let me down. All five gundam pilots just split up? Just like that? And where the heck is Heero going? I may never know. But what I do know is that the end didn't seem to tie all the loose ends. And I'm in a dark moment right now, so I feel extremely pessimistic. Flames are more than readily welcomed, as they'll add to my mood. Maybe I should just stick with G Gundam instead...hmmm... This is probably gonna be a one-shot fic, I don't know. Review if you want me to continue. Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing for the whole fic. It's just the ideas that are placed here...I think. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ My Own Decision_   
** by japanfan**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_ "I have killed Mariemeia...I won't kill anyone anymore...I don't have to..." Heero lowered his arm, his gun dropped to the floor, and he collapsed. _

"Heero! Heero!" Queen Relena cried out as she ran to him and caught him before he hit the floor. She cradled the unconscious boy. Heero moaned, his eyes closed. Relena adopted a look of gratitude as Mariemeia was carried off to be helped. 

"Good bye, Deathscythe, this time for good!" Duo said to his gundam. Trowa and Quatre wordlessly said their goodbyes before destroying their gundams. Somewhere else, Wufei did likewise. As he destroyed Shenlong Gundam, he said, "Good bye, Nataku. May you forever rest in peace." 

A now able Heero stood near the stage, where Queen Relena was speaking to the audience. He took a long look at her, a bit saddened. He and Wing Zero were no longer needed for war, as peace had returned to the colonies. He disappeared from his spot behind the curtains took his pack, and walked away, and headed for Wing Zero. 

  
Queen Relena stood up from her chair on the stage, her speech over. She was going to leave to retire for the night, until she asked, "Heero...where's Heero?" 

Someone's reply was, "He left." 

"To where?" Relena wasn't surprised that he probably would. 

"He did not say." 

Heero flew out in space with Wing Zero, to finish what he had to do to his gundam. Neither he or the gundam were needed in war anymore. He set out to get far away from the colonies and self-destruct Gundam with him inside. 

Suddenly, colonial communications opened up, and the face of Queen Relena popped up on the little screen. "Heero, where are you going?" 

Heero looked at her slowly. He did not say anything for a while. Finally, he said, "I'm self-destructing Gundam." 

"But where?" 

"In space." 

Relena was shocked. "But Heero, you'll die just self-destructing in space!" 

"My life doesn't matter anymore. It was cheap." 

Relena was speechless. Desperate to keep Heero alive, she responded in anguish, "But what if there is another war? Where will you be? Who will help us?" 

Heero replied calmly, "There will not be anymore wars. My missions are completed. If there was another war, you have Duo, Trowa, Quatre and Wufei. I don't want to have to kill that little girl and her dog anymore." 

"You won't have to do it again. You can live with us and rest." 

"Live with you for no purpose? Relena, I was not born. I was created to destroy to stop OZ and Treize, nothing more. Understand that I have nothing to live for anymore." 

Tears began rolling down Relena's cheek. "I wish I could go with you, Heero, but the world depends on me. If you must die, I...I...I understand. But before you do, I have something to say." 

Heero's eyes softened a little at the woman. He said, "You may say it now, or we will never see each other again." 

"Heero, I...I-I love you..." 

Heero would cry, if he wasn't his indifferent self. No matter what emotions, he couldn't cry. He said softly, "Relena." She looked at him with teary eyes. "I love you too." Relena's eyes widened. Heero noticed that he was far away enough from the colonies to self-destruct. His eyes looked at Relena one more time, before he said, "I will always love you. And it's time for me to die. Goodbye, Queen Relena." He shut off the link between them. 

Relena cried out, "Heero!" But it was too late. She was looking at a blank screen, and she knew immediately that Heero had died with his Gundam. His life didn't matter to him, and no one would be able to take his Gundam. Relena walked to the window of her living quarters and looked out. A flash of light, like a shooting star, shone in the sky for a few seconds, then went out, a confirmation of the self-destruction. Another tear rolled down her cheek, as she whispered hopelessly, "Please come back, Heero." 

But that wish may never come true. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Yep. This is just a dark moment of mine. Reviews, anyone? 

_ japanfan _


	2. In the Midst of Debris

So, I see you want more of this GW fic. Well, okay, even though I clearly indicated that this would be a one-shot fanfic, I still get the same amount of reviews for a non-chapter! Well, I'm not sure about the ending of the fic, but it will please some and make others become stalkers. Hey, I can't just please everyone, but I'll do my best, okay? On with the fan fiction! 

Oh yeah...I didn't exactly realize Wing Zero was already gone. I can be fast at catching things, but I'm extremely slow when it comes to Gundam Wing. So bear with me, okay? (WMD rolls eyes) And don't ask who WMD is. I'll just tell you she's a good (*sarcastic*) friend of mine. 

And one more important note. The plot I have laid for this fic appears a bit...ambiguous to me. If you look at it one way, it's Heero/Relena. If you look at it differently, Heero practically hates Relena. So if it seems H/R and you hate the pairing, don't quit on me yet. And don't quit on me either if the story doesn't seem H/R. YOU MUST REMEMBER THAT! Oh yeah, and review, please, and tell me more about GW if I just so happen to get something wrong. I only know part of the beginning and the end (Endless Waltz). 

Disclaimer for the entire story so that I don't have to repeat myself over and over and over and over and over...: I don't own Gundam Wing. 

  
  
  


** My Own Decision**   
_ by japanfan_

  
  
  


Relena could only sob quietly. She looked out the window again. The sky had returned to its normal midnight blue. Being a practical woman, Relena retired to her bed, but cried herself to sleep, not as an esteemed woman, but a lost little girl who was alone in the world without her mother and father. 

~*~ 

A space shuttle was floating around quietly in space. In fact, it was floating in the midst of some debris, and it probably was not a good idea to have any of it to bury themselves into the shuttle. So it floated for a short time. 

A man sat in the cockpit of the shuttle, relaxing. He considered destroying the debris with any weapons that the shuttle had, but there were very few, and there was simply so much trash around. _ Why is there so much stuff around here? It's like as if something had blown up, _ he thought. _ I wonder..._

Suddenly, something caught his eye. A particular mass of something was coming slowly towards the shuttle. It was a man, or boy, rather. The man instantly got up, recognizing that it was a human being, and watched the boy slowly make its way to the entrance of the shuttle. He pressed a button, opening the entrance, and the pressure forced the boy in. When the man was sure he was in, he closed the entrance and made his way to where the boy was. He looked at the pitiful sight. The man looked at the boy's face and noted that this was the same Gundam pilot with Wing Zero. Injustice had come to the colonies. How could Mariemaia not claim the Earth sphere? He was even one of her soldiers, and yet they still failed. He felt resentment to the Gundam pilot at his mercy. The man checked his pulse and shook his head. After being in space, how could there still be a pulse? It was a very weak one, mind, but a pulse all the same. The boy needed help soon, real soon. So he took the boy to a small room, and by the time the man returned to the cockpit, he saw that most of the debris was now only behind him. So he piloted the shuttle to the nearest L1 colony. This oppritunity would not slip through his fingers. The debris must have been the remains of Wing Zero. This boy could suit his own purposes, indeed. (A/N: If you're confused, let's just pretend Heero is a very strong person who survived in space, although that might've been impossible.) 

~*~

Heero wasn't sure of the fact that he was dead, considering the dull pain he was feeling. He wasn't even sure if the dead could feel pain at all. And when he tried moving his leg and felt the sudden jolt of pain that made him wince with his eyes closed, he was even more confused. He wasn't even sure if he had a name. 

He opened his eyes. The brightness of the room he was in almost blinded him. There were no windows, and there was a railing around his bed. There were several tubes attached to him, and he couldn't move. He was in a hospital room, and a tall, dark man walked into the room. So far, all that Heero knew was that he had no name to identify with, he was in a hospital room, he was injured, and he had no memory of his past. He had amnesia. 

The man smirked. "So, Heero Yuy...or rather, _ code name _ Heero Yuy...what does it feel like to be in the "hospital", hmm?" 

Heero stared blankly at him. "What?" 

The smirk disappeared and a frown replaced it. "Don't play games, Gundam Pilot 01, you are at my mercy, you realize that." All the research this man had done on the gundam pilots was not done so that one of the pilots would feign memory loss. 

Heero continued to stare at him, wondering what a gundam was. "Gundam pilot? Heero Yuy? Who's that?" 

Losing he temper, the man promptly turned around and stormed out. Heero could only feel the throbbing pain in his limbs and wonder, _ Who am I? _

~*~ 

The dark man, whom from we will now call Shouken, strode angrily into the laboratory where a doctor sat, studying Heero's data that he had collected. "The nerve of him! Pretending to have amnesia won't do him any good!" 

"Actually, Shouken," the doctor responded, turning around, "he _ does _ have amnesia." 

"Really, Doctor?" Shouken really didn't enter Mariemaia's service to take the Earth sphere for the Barton family. Like Trowa, he was only there to find out what he could. He was only a somebody in the colonies, but he knew the element of surprise could work only once for him. So far, he had good records; but once he would begin doing something big, there would be good reason for the authorities to watch him with a wary eye. 

"Indeed, Shouken," the doctor replied, gesturing to Heero's collected data. "He shows no recognition when we inserted a dream pattern into his brain while he was still unconscious. This and a few other confidential things lead me to diagnose him with generalized amnesia. He has no memory whatsoever of himself or of anyone since whatever trauma he went through was experienced." 

"Well, I-" Shouken stopped. If the boy really didn't remember anything, that would make things easier for him to convince him. But it would present a few more problems to replace the ones that disappeared. Shouken estimated those "problems" could be easily solved, and it might be used to his advantage. The glare in his eyes disappeared, and his frown slowly changed to a smirk. 

~*~

Sound confusing? Probably is. Heero has amnesia! Yay! This would be good for you H/R haters _ or _ lovers. Flames/critism/praises/just some kind of a review, please? 

_ japanfan_


	3. Her Beloved's Doom

Minna gomen! Over the past few months, I haven't the chance to go online and NOT do my homework and listen to "Take Off to the Sky" by Heero. I didn't realize Midorikawa Hikaru had a good voice! Duo's is just as good. Trowa's and Wufei's are sort of okay, and Quatre...has a girl's voice. It'd be nice for a GIRL's character, but Quatre's? Okay, my friend likes him (since he has blond hair -_-;), and has  no  idea that her beloved gundam pilot is Arabian! 0.o I'm not being racist, but they should change Quatre's history... 

  
  
  
  
  


** My Own Decision**   
_ by japanfan_

  
  
  
  
  
A week later, Relena lay in bed, alone and depressed. People around her had noticed, and word got around that one of the gundam pilots committed suicide and died, which was not entirely false. For Heero, if you were alive, you had a purpose. If you didn't, you were already dead. For Relena, you were lucky to be alive...if you would not be touched by reality. Life should be a fantasy, one might say. Now that peace was restored, and the space wars had gone, there were now only government problems to deal with. Relena sighed. there was a possibility that Dekim Barton was the only person wanting to disrupt the peace and take the Earth as he planned, but there was quite another-that plan could only have a few eggs in its nest. Some civilians were suspicious that someone who had joined Mariemaia's forces might still harbor hatred for the peace. Many suspected yet another Barton, others suspected others still. And there was still the terraforming project. It had barely begun to take shape. 

"Heero..." she thought hopelessly. That scene replayed over again in her mind. He had told her he had loved her-then why die? She almost ran out of tears for him. Almost. First, she cried tears of pain, of love. Then she shed tears of anger. Now, she was only sad...or depressed, if one might say so. A solitary tear ran slightly off her cheek, made pale by the moon light. 

~*~

Shouken watched the screen showing Heero sitting in a chair in the middle of plain white room, staring aimlessly. For days Heero had been in that room, and for days Shouken and the doctor were watching him, after making sure Heero was physically stable and did not interact with him unless it was to give him food. 

Some of the observations they had made was that Heero was always alert. In his sleep, when the slightest sound was made his hand would intinctively go to a pocket, whee perhaps a gun or knige could be hidden, typical of a captive super-spy or -assassin. Heero's eye were focused, memorizing the entire room and embedding it into his memory. He also tried to unlock the door. It required several codes to satisfy such an electronic device. Originally, this guest room was for, well, guests, and this one was especially for those who had a preference of primitive technology rather than our conventional key-and-lock door. His hand would be raised to the keypad and automatically type in a code of some sort. When Heero realized he had done the first code, he was surprised. But as he tried to remember what he just typed, the hand would lose its temporary memory of the rest of the program that passed for any code. So, with nothing left to do, Heero could only wait for whatever could happen next. 

The doctor leaned back in his seat and glanced at Shouken. "What do you intend on doing to the boy?" he inquired. 

Shouken took his eyes off the screen and looked at the doctor in the eye. "Well, I could do two things..." 

~*~

Two people were poring over files shown on a screen at Preventers Headquraters. In fact, Wufei was in his chair, scanning the long list of people that had previously been with Mariemaia and Dekim, and Sally was holding a clipboard, writing down names of suspicious people that Wufei was calling out: Ashae Barton, Silvia Lacis, Shouken Hailam, Marc Denhart... 

On the names continued, and if the readers heard the entire list, this fan fiction would not be updated for two years and/or the author will go braindead, and...I should hope my faithful readers get the point. 

~*~

"What?"the doctor inquired. "What are your options?" 

"Well..." Shouken thought, then replied, "first of all, I could just take advantage of Heero's abilities. I could re-train him into the assassin he nearly was, and send him to destroy the target." 

The doctor thought about it for a second, then made a hand gesture, motioning Shouken to go on. "Continue." 

"The second is to bring our target here to die." 

The doctor had to protest. "But you can't force someone of such importance here! She could bring guards and surround the place! What if-" 

Shouken held up a hand to stop him. "That's where our pawn comes in. We could use him as a hostage. And if you kept tabs on her like I did, she WILL come. True, she may bring guards. But who's still our hostage? Heero can take care of all of them." 

"And if he dies?" 

"Then he'll die for our cause, and we can get away while he's distracting them. And if we can't you'll know there'll be more Bartons who will avenge Dekim. They'll overturn this peace, only with motives different from mine." 

~*~

Who is "she"? Why are the Preventers only sitting there, listing names? Which plan is Shouken going with? How many readers will review and answer those questions? Well, okay, that's the only part I can't control...will the author be able to continue this fanfic at all, or will the author just delete this fanfic? (What? I AM tired!) 

japanfan


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